10 Easy Steps to Take Back Control When You’re Separating (Part 1)

1. Time: the greatest healer?

 You may find yourself in shock.  This may be a position you never thought you would end up in.  You probably have no idea what to do.  It sounds like a cliché, but time really is a great healer.  It is also important to make some time for you.  Do things you like doing and make an effort to put yourself first as much as possible.

2. Talk: a problem shared is a problem halved.

 You may find it helpful to talk to someone.  Whether that is a close friend, family member or perhaps a counsellor.  It is important to do this as it will help you put your situation into perspective.  Nothing ever seems quite as bad when you’ve talked through a problem with someone you trust.

3. Rash decisions are BAD decisions.

Do not make any rash decisions before seeking advice.  You may want to leave the family home to avoid living under one roof, but is that the best thing to?  Moving out may seem the obvious step but it can have longer term repercussions. You may be under pressure to make financial decisions. DON’T.  Take your time and get expert legal advice before making any big decisions.

4. Know your finances

You want to move forward in life and so need to be able to look after yourself and your family.  To move on you need to know where you are starting from and it is very important to know your financial situation and that of your ex.  As a starting point it is best to consider:

  • Income and expenditure
  • The value of any properties or mortgages you have
  • The value of any savings and investments
  • The amount owed on any debts or liabilities
  • The value of any pensions you have and if you are over 40 what they will give you in retirement.

5. Acceptance: the path to happiness.

Separation can cause similar reactions to bereavement.  Hopefully, once you have taken some time and talked through what ha happened you will slowly find yourself in a place of acceptance.

Check back next week for part 2!

Here at Harrogate Family Law we are family law specialists.  If you are considering divorce or separation contact us today to see how we can help you.  Our number is 01423 594680.

Carol Jessop is an experienced family lawyer specialising in finding practical solutions to resolve complex financial arrangements, protecting assets and obtaining emergency orders to provide personal protection or prevent the removal of children.

Carol has over 30 years’ experience in family law and is recognised by her clients and peers as highly knowledgeable and compassionate.

Everyone’s circumstances are different and this article is provided by way of general information only and must not be relied upon.  If you require legal advice on a family law issue, please feel free to contact us by emailing enquiries@harrogatefamilylaw.co.uk.