When a relationship breaks down and parents separate, children can be left feeling very confused, upset and conflicted.
In some cases, particularly after a particularly bitter or difficult separation, a child’s feelings towards one parent can be psychologically manipulated by the other.
When you’re going through divorce it is quite natural to be worried about how your relationship with your children might change and how much time you will be able to spend together in future. You might also be afraid of losing contact with your children altogether.
When parents separate there can be issues over the arrangements for children and, in particular, how your children’s time will be divided on special occasions such as Christmas.
Research has shown that the memory of how a child first learns about their parents’ divorce tends to stick with them. This is why it’s worth spending a bit of time discussing how you’ll break the news. It will undoubtedly be one of the most difficult conversations you have as a family but, if dealt with carefully, it can smooth the way for greater understanding and easier co-parenting in the months and years that follow.
What happens when your ex wants to move away with the children – perhaps also with a new partner – and you object?
Introducing a new partner to your children can feel like a daunting task. What if your children don’t like them? What if they get upset? What if they feel you are trying to replace their other parent?
Following on from last week’s blog, read on to find out more about how to take back control when you are separating.
1. Time: the greatest healer?
You may find yourself in shock. This may be a position you never thought you would end up in. You probably have no idea what to do. It sounds like a cliché, but time really is a great healer. It is also important to make some time for you. Do things you like doing and make an effort to put yourself first as much as possible.
When parents separate and can’t agree the arrangements for their children, it can be difficult for grandparents to see their grandchildren.