When you think about possible reasons why people get divorced, the more obvious ones tend to spring to mind: One person having an affair? Financial difficulties? A lack of love and affection? However, there are other, not as obvious reasons that over time can be detrimental to a relationship. Do you treat your house like a hotel? Are you addicted to social media? Read on to see if any of these feel familiar:
1. Working too hard
Do you find yourself spending more time at work than at home? Staying in the office late? Returning home exhausted with little time or inclination for anything other than sleep? Many people work long hours to further their careers and support their families; however, there is a fine line to balance to ensure that those at home do not feel neglected.
2. A lack of interest in your partner’s life
Do you ask your partner how their day has been or what they have been up to? When was the last time that you sat down with your partner for a conversation beyond the practicalities surrounding your life e.g. who is going to pick the kids up from school tomorrow? It is easy for relationships to slip into routine and for you to forget to take a genuine interest in each other. This is important as it can make you or your partner feel unappreciated.
3. Different social lives and social circles
Do you have a different group of friends to your partner? Your own hobbies and interests? Whilst having your own identity and enjoying time away from each other with your own friends is rewarding and healthy for a relationship, it is important to not allow this to dominate your time. If you are out on the town every weekend and your partner is at home watching films alone this could signal a deeper issue. You should always ensure that you are making time for each other.
4. Different opinions of how finances should be managed
Do you like to treat yourself to new clothes every month? Do you like to spend a lot on a night out with friends? Does your partner prefer to save every penny and avoid any kind of unnecessary expenditure? Different opinions of how money should be handled can lead to big arguments in a relationship. It can make one person feel unheard and the other unappreciated.
5. Treating your home like a hotel
When you get up in the morning do you leave the bed unmade? Do you leave your cup on the side? Conversely, do you find yourself picking up your partner’s socks from the floor or being the only person in the house capable of using a washing machine? This is hardly the picture of domestic bliss and whilst you or your partner might take the main responsibility for maintaining the home, friction can appear when the other adopts an attitude of “that’s your responsibility, not mine”, after all you both live there.
6. Social Media
Social media is a powerful tool and an integral part of every day life for most people. However, it can have a negative impact within a relationship. We have blogs relating to this exact topic which you can view here and here.
7. Having children
Having a child is a wonderful experience and can really solidify the family unit. It can, however, place immense pressure on a relationship. It is no longer just the two of you and you have responsibility for this little human being. Sleepless nights, early mornings, nappies and additional housework can lead to friction and push couples apart.
The world is full of different cultures, religions, beliefs and political affiliations. That is part of what makes the world such an interesting place and people with different beliefs can make a strong family unit, as the saying goes “opposites attract”. However, disagreeing about the religion that children should be raised in or who you should vote for in the next election can cause conflict at home that you might not be able to see past.
9. Treat spouse as a “mate”
Do you treat your partner as more of a “mate” than a partner in life? Do you have completely separate finances? Do you treat your partner any different than you would treat a flatmate? Whilst there is nothing wrong with separate finances and this is of course a personal choice, treating your partner like a “mate” as opposed to your partner can lead to them feeling unappreciated and questioning your commitment the relationship.
10. Outside influence
Your friends may not like your wife, or, your family might not like your husband. This can be an uncomfortable situation to be in and can add additional pressure to a relationship.
Whilst none of the above reasons are likely to result in the breakdown of a marriage on their own, coupled together with others on the list there could be an indication that your relationship is suffering difficulties.
If you do feel that your relationship is at an end and you want some guidance of the best next step to take, give us a call today on 01423 594680.
Andrew Meehan is an experienced family lawyer specialising in complex divorces involving significant or hidden assets, as well as cases involving children.
He is recommended for family law by both Chambers 2019 (York, Hull and surrounding regions) and the Legal 500 2018 (Leeds/West Yorkshire and North Yorkshire region).
Everyone’s circumstances are different and this article is provided by way of general information only and must not be replied upon. If you require legal advice on a family law issue, please feel free to contact us by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.