Is there really a right or wrong way to divorce? People who have been through a split will often tell you that there are things they wish they’d done differently which, with hindsight, would have made the whole process so much easier on them and their family.

Here we have put together 5 steps everyone can take to make sure their divorce gives them the outcome they deserve.

Telling your children

If you have children together, they should always be at the heart of your decision making and the way you tell them about the divorce will set the tone for everything that happens afterwards. This is one of the things that can make the biggest difference to the way your separation progresses. The fact that you and your partner are splitting up doesn’t change the fact that you are parents, so discuss how you will tell them and make time to sit down with them together. Reassure them that you still love them and will always be their parents, even if you are not all living together.

Think about the future

However hard it is to imagine a life after divorce, thinking about your future will help you, with the help of a specialist family law solicitor, work towards an agreement with your ex that will set you on the right path. It is quite normal to feel like you just want to get it all over and done with, which is why so many people avoid thinking about what they need until it is too late. Consider your current lifestyle and future goals and discuss these openly with your solicitor so they can help you negotiate the best possible outcome.

Choose the best legal advice for you

The solicitor you choose can make a big difference to the outcome. People who have been through a divorce which didn’t go the way they wanted will often be critical of the legal advice they received. A specialist family law solicitor will know exactly what problems and pitfalls to watch out for. Whilst legal advice may feel expensive, it is likely that you will spend less in the long run, because they will spot issues early and handle things more efficiently. It’s also important to find someone you get along with. They will be helping you make some tough decisions so you need to be able to trust them.

Listen to your solicitor, not your friends

Friends are full of advice at times like this and although their support is valuable, their guidance can be misleading and unrealistic. Friends are a wonderful emotional support but can raise expectations and fire up your hostility without meaning to. Your specialist family law solicitor will get to know you, take time to discuss different options and help you agree a fair and realistic outcome with as little conflict as possible.

Choose your battles

Too many break ups stall because couples fight about the most trivial things. This is one reason why you should set your priorities early on and stay focused on achieving them. That way you will know what really matters and what you are prepared to compromise on.

To speak to one of our friendly solicitors for a free confidential chat give us a call today on 01423 594680.

Emma Doughty is family lawyer who provides straightforward, easy to understand advice.  She is passionate about helping people and using her expertise to achieve the best outcome possible.  She has been described by her clients as “tremendous and incredibly supportive”.

Everyone’s circumstances are different and this article is provided by way of general information only and must not be relied upon.  If you require legal advice on a family law issue, please feel free to contact us by emailing