Living with a narcissist is difficult and it will come as no surprise to anyone in that position, that it is going to take courage and determination to divorce one.

Knowing what to expect will help enormously, as will having a family lawyer on your side who has extensive experience of dealing with this type of personality disorder.

 What to expect when you decide to divorce a narcissistic partner

Narcissists boost their own self-esteem by belittling those closest to them and unfortunately their lack of empathy means they don’t feel bad when they do it. If you live with a narcissist you’ll know the pattern – if they are feeling unhappy with their weight or uneasy with their appearance, they’ll probably turn it on you by saying you have gained weight or eat too much. They need constant ego boosts and frequently pit people against one another or criticise friends and family to reinforce their own sense of importance.

This behaviour makes it very hard to divorce amicably, no matter how much you want to avoid rocking the boat. Here are a few things to watch out for:

  • A narcissist is unlikely to admit that they have contributed in any way to the current situation.
  • They may contact family and close friends to suggest that you are in some way to blame.
  • Unlike most parents, they are rarely motivated to put their children’s interests first or to co-parent with you going forward.
  • They will play the role of victim and make it seem as though you have brought the situation on yourself.
  • Narcissists relish control and this usually means that they have made sure they are in charge of the finances.

Don’t be daunted though, these are hurdles that can be overcome and we have helped many people in such situations to end their abusive relationship, rediscover who they are and build a new life.

 How we can help

When you are divorcing a narcissist you will need a good lawyer from the outset who can support and advise you. Your partner will probably try to persuade you that everything can be settled without spending money on solicitors but this will put you at a disadvantage. You will need expert help to make sure you achieve the outcome you deserve, particularly in terms of securing your future financially and agreeing arrangements for children. It helps to think of your family law solicitor as an investment in your future, someone who will understand your priorities and counterbalance any negativity that will undoubtedly be thrown your way by a disgruntled narcissistic partner.

Narcissists rarely behave rationally and their mood swings can throw you off track. This kind of aggressive behaviour is intended to make you back down and in a lot of instances it works. We know how narcissists operate – we have seen it before. When you are feeling wobbly, we’ll help you stay focused on your objectives and the future you are trying to create for you and your family. Instead of attempting to win an argument with your narcissistic partner (you won’t), talk to us and we’ll negotiate on your behalf. We know the tricks people like this typically use and we will be fully prepared so that we can represent your best interests.

To see how we can help you, give us a call now on 01423 594680.

Laura Mounsey is a family lawyer with experience of working on cases involving properties, trusts, businesses and pensions.  Laura is a dedicated and talented lawyer who has been recognised with a “Safe Pair of Hands” Award.

Everyone’s circumstances are different and this article is provided by way of general information only and must not be relied upon.  If you require legal advice on a family law issue, please feel free to contact us by emailing