This year’s International Day of Happiness centres around the idea of connection with others. And when it comes to connections, your marriage should be one of the most important in your life.
But what happens when you suspect that it’s not working for you? How can you be sure that a separation is what you want, and how do you make yourself happy?
If you’re no longer fulfilled and want more from yourself and your life, consider what you can do about it and why you have the right to be happy.
Talking to your spouse: is divorce the right thing for you?
First and foremost, communication is key. When busy day-to-day life is just rolling along – kids, work, responsibilities – it can be easy to feel like you and your spouse have become passing ships in the night. That lack of connection can start taking a toll.
You may have just fallen onto different pages. Try checking in with your partner and seeing where they’re at. These conversations may not be easy, but they are necessary for nipping more minor issues in the bud before they become too big to overcome. Keep an open mind, listen to your spouse, and be honest about what you want.
Think about how you’ll both move forward positively from the conversation. Can action be taken to bring you back together and ensure your needs are met? Or is it the end of the road? There’s no right or wrong answer – only what’s right for you.
The fear of making someone else unhappy
This is something so many of us think about. But a fear of hurting someone isn’t a reason to stay in a marriage or relationship that’s making you unhappy.
If you’ve come to the conclusion that your marriage is over, that’s a valid decision. Just continue all conversations with respect, give each other space, and start to plan for the future – having the right solicitor in your corner can help with that.
You may have tried to reignite the spark or address the growing space between you. But you may find that, ultimately, you’re different people than when you married. You may still love them deeply, but that romantic, intimate connection may have drifted away.
Emotionally, this dwindling of a relationship can be confusing and painful. You may spend a lot of time wondering whether this really is the end, whereas a major incident can make it easier to put a ‘full stop’ on the relationship.
You may be having several doubts over what to do. But it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and not simply push them aside.
Is ‘being unhappy’ enough of a reason to get divorced?
There’s often a misconception that divorce only comes about because of a significant incident in the relationship – affairs, addiction, financial troubles, for example. But for many couples, the reality is that they simply grow apart and fall out of love.
In the case of Owens v Owens, feelings of isolation and a lack of love weren’t enough for a divorce petition to succeed. In fact, the court of appeal stated that “parliament has decreed that it is not a ground for divorce that you find yourself in a wretchedly unhappy marriage”.
It was this case that really set the stage for major law reform and the introduction of the no-fault divorce.
Starting divorce proceedings
Since the introduction of the no-fault divorce in 2022, couples can now divorce without having to assign blame to either party. So, in short, there’s no longer any reason for anyone to remain unhappy or unfulfilled within a marriage that’s not working.
If this is something you’re thinking about, we’ve got the expert advice and guidance that you need. At Harrogate Family Law, we’ll be here every step of the way – whatever the outcome. For expert legal support, please contact our team today.
