Going through a divorce isn’t easy. And it’s for that very reason that getting legal advice is always a smart move. However, legal advice aside, there are a number of common mistakes people make when they embark on a divorce, and here we’re taking a look at just a few of them.
Disrespecting your ex-partner in front of the children.
If you find yourself navigating a high-conflict divorce, it can be tempting to bad-mouth your ex-partner. Whilst it’s only natural to vent, doing so in front of the children is never advisable.
Criticising the other parent can make your children feel as though you’re criticising a part of them. It can result in them trying to protect one or both of their parents from negativity and criticism, a burden far too big for any child to handle. Divorce brings with it more than enough insecurity for children, the last thing they need is their parents adding to that.
Though your criticisms of your ex-partner may be justified in your eyes, staying impartial in front of the children will benefit the family dynamic greatly in the long run. At the end of the day, protecting the children’s welfare should take priority over your own grievances. Now more than ever, your child will need you to be their safe space.
Not standing up for yourself
Divorce and separation can be a real blow to your self-confidence. Often, standing up for the things you need for your future can feel difficult. Perhaps you feel as though the divorce is your fault, or that you’re only looking after your own interests. Maybe you just want to get the divorce over and done with as quickly as possible.
The truth is, if you don’t stand up for yourself, and for what’s fair, you could find yourself making compromises that jeopardise your future. You deserve to start the next chapter of your life with the best possible chance.
Always remember that your voice and opinions matter. You need to think about what’s best for you, and stand up for that during negotiations.
Not planning for life once the divorce is over.
Often, people are so consumed by getting through a divorce, that they forget to plan for life after the divorce is finalised. Divorce is often seen as an ending, but really, it’s often the first chapter to your new life. Planning for life after a divorce is just as important as being prepared for the divorce itself.
Where will you live? Who will you live with? Will you need to find employment? What do you want your future to look like? These are the questions you need to be asking yourself. If you wait until it’s all over, you’ll be facing a lot of pressure after finishing what is already an exhausting and emotionally draining process.
Avoiding going to court if that’s what’s needed
At Harrogate Family Law, we do our utmost to keep matters out of court. But sometimes, it’s a path that needs to be taken. If you’re not getting anywhere through negotiation or mediation, then taking the matter to court just might be the best way of working out financial settlements, the arrangements for the children, and other important decisions.
Whilst it’s true that avoiding court is what you might hope for, we don’t live in an ideal world. So don’t be afraid to seek legal advice and explore your options in order to finalise matters.
Not getting expert legal advice.
The most useful and proactive thing you can do in order to avoid making these mistakes, is to seek legal advice. Going through a divorce on your own can be very difficult, not to mention confusing and overwhelming.
Having a solicitor of whom you can ask questions, seek advice from and who will manage expectations is absolutely vital, particularly if you’re not able to have constructive and conflict free discussions with your soon to be ex.