Christmas is a time when your divorce or separation can feel especially real – particularly if you’re spending Christmas either by yourself or without your children for the first time.
It’s completely normal to have a lot of emotions; bursts of positivity followed by feelings of sadness is a cycle that can become all too familiar. You might feel relieved about having space from your ex-spouse or partner, but at the same time, you miss being part of the family you’d become used to over the years.
Yes, Christmas can be quite a conundrum for those separated or divorced. With that in mind, we’ve put together a comprehensive ‘divorcee’s guide to the festive season’. With tips and advice for managing your way through while having the fun you deserve, it might just help things feel that little bit easier.
Child arrangements at Christmas
For those with children with an ex, the arrangements for the children at Christmas can become a massive elephant in the room. Our advice? Address the issue head-on so that everyone knows what to expect.
Decide between you what the arrangements will be, and make sure everyone is clear on the plans (including any extended family that want to make plans with the children). The last thing you want is for your plans to be disrupted because your ex or your various relatives thought they could see the children when that’s not likely to happen. Having this discussion early will also allow you to plan an alternative time for the children to spend with the people who matter, even if that’s not Christmas Day.
If this is the first Christmas as part of a separated couple, you may also want to reach out to other friends and family to make plans with them for the big day. Alternatively, you might be looking forward to a quiet Christmas on your own – that’s the beauty of this new-found freedom – it’s entirely up to you!
Take time for you
Whether your children are away with their ex or this is your first Christmas not being part of a couple, this is your opportunity to do all the things YOU want to do at Christmas time.
Whether you fill your diary with social events, Christmas markets, pantos, concerts, shopping, or maybe even a trip away, look at this as an opportunity to enjoy yourself and take some time to take care of yourself.
Make new traditions
Just because you’re not with your children at Christmas doesn’t mean you can’t still make that time special. Put your own spin on Christmas. Don’t be afraid to throw out the festive rule book and do what will make that quality time with your family and friends special.
We’ve seen people go on annual holidays, start volunteering, or simply enjoy some peace and quiet, ultimately enjoying the freedom to make Christmas what they want it to be.
Time to get excited about the future
This first Christmas might be challenging, but you’ve overcome tough times, and you’ll do it again. Remember to reach out to your support network and lean into all the feelings that come with this new life – both the good and the bad.
It’s also a time to get excited about the future – the new traditions, the time spent with friends and family old and new, and looking ahead to what your new life looks like.
At Harrogate Family Law, we’re here to support you at every step of your separation or divorce.
If you have any questions about this or any other family law matter, please just contact us.
