Coming to the decision that your marriage is over is never easy. Very often, it comes after a lot of thought, and much emotional to-ing and fro-ing about whether you’re doing the right thing. You might feel as though you should give the marriage ‘one last try’. You might worry that you’re acting in the heat of the moment. Or perhaps the freedom that a divorce could bring, is all you can think about.
Whatever the situation, it’s unlikely to be straightforward. To make the matter harder, no one else can tell you what the right decision is for you.
You owe it to yourself to be honest
Before we take a look at the tell-tale signs that you’re ready to divorce, it never hurts to stop, take a breath and think about how you really feel. Are you ready for the potential consequences of ending your marriage? What does the future look like, and is it the one you want? When you think about being divorced, do you feel relieved? Calm? Happy with the decision? Or nervous, worried and unsure?
Divorce can, and will, cause you to feel a lot of different emotions. It’s important that you’re honest with yourself about how you’ll manage this before setting anything in stone.
Here we’re exploring some of the tell-tale signs that you could be ready for a divorce.
You’re thinking about divorce when there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with the marriage
There are some things in life that can put real pressure on a marriage and ultimately cause it to break down. Job losses and financial pressure, illness, or even raising children are just a few examples.
But if you’re thinking about a divorce, and can’t pinpoint exactly the reason why, that’s a big sign. The breakdown of a relationship doesn’t always involve heated arguments or big events. Sometimes, without rhyme or reason, feelings change.
You’ve given it your best shot
Maybe you’ve tried talking through your differences. You’ve gone to friends and family for advice. You might have even tried couples’ counselling. But despite all of this, the issues between you still remain.
If that’s the case, it might be time to think about a divorce. You’ve got to weigh up how much time you’ve spent trying to make the relationship work, and how much more time you want to spend doing that.
The fact is that people change. If you’re no longer on the same page, or you’re heading in different directions, all the effort in the world isn’t going to result in a happy marriage.
Communication has broken down
Communication is key in a relationship. If communication breaks down, or the only communication you have with your spouse is antagonistic or aggressive, divorce may start to look like the best path to take for both of you.
If you can’t hold a conversation without it ending in an argument, then something’s got to give. It may be that there are differences between you and your partner that are insurmountable.
It’s a conscious decision, not an impulsive statement
As we’ve already said, suggesting a divorce shouldn’t be a split second decision. You need to really consider if it’s the right thing for you, and why.
Having a heated argument with your spouse and yelling that you want a divorce isn’t ideal. And it’s very different to making a conscious decision to end the relationship. Make sure you’re not asking for a divorce to punish your partner or to provoke a reaction. It’s all about doing what’s best for you, not one that you’re likely to regret down the line.
Ready to discuss taking the next step?
If you’re considering a divorce, and any of these points are striking a chord with you, then we’re here for you. Whether you simply need to talk things through, or get some expert advice on the next steps to take, Harrogate Family Law can help.
Just get in touch with us today to find out more about how we can help you.