Humans are inherently social. Without connection (whether romantic or platonic), loneliness can start to set in.
This week is Loneliness Awareness Week, which raises awareness of the impact of loneliness.
Marriage is often seen as the pinnacle of companionship. But the fact of the matter is that many people actually experience the total opposite. Sometimes being in a lonely marriage can feel more isolating than being alone.
As family lawyers, we see this all the time. So, just what are the signs your marriage might be making you feel more lonely than connected?
Communication breakdown
We start to feel lonely when we don’t feel seen, heard or understood. If you feel like your partner doesn’t talk to you or take an interest in what you say, that can start to wear you down, particularly when you’re living under the same roof.
There’s a certain amount of vulnerability required from both partners to create that feeling of emotional intimacy and safety. We all need substantial conversation where we can share our feelings and emotions so we can feel truly connected. If you’re not getting that emotional intimacy, the relationship can start to feel shallow, and even empty.
Intimacy is non-existent
Intimacy goes way beyond the act of sex. It’s made up of lots of different dynamics, such as time spent together engaging in each other’s hobbies, equal self-sacrifice and appreciation of one another.
Whether it’s a case of you and your partner not being intimate in the form of sex, not spending time together, or have stopped cheering each other on, any one or all of these things can cause that feeling of loneliness to increase.
Finding excuses to avoid your partner
Maybe you’re spending that extra hour at work. Maybe you’re spending more of your free time on your hobbies. When you do get home, maybe you’re avoiding your partner by shutting yourself in a separate room.
This avoidant behaviour could indicate some kind of dissatisfaction in the relationship, such as unresolved conflicts or undiscussed resentments.
Loneliness doesn’t set in overnight
Loneliness is often a slow burn. It can creep up over weeks, months, even years. But that doesn’t diminish the intense feelings that come with it. For many, it leaves them feeling there’s nowhere else to turn.
Not all separations come about as a heat-of-the-moment decision or result from a blazing row. More often than not, the decision to end a marriage comes from a distance between partners that has become impossible to bridge.
Feeling isolated can quickly turn to feeling trapped in a relationship that’s no longer making you happy. Making that call to leave can be frightening, but just know you’re not alone and there’s every chance to rediscover a rich community after leaving an unhappy relationship.
If it’s time to make a change, please get in touch with us now for a no-obligation chat.
